Does Your Website Make You Sound Selfish? Your Prospects Might Think So

by Michelle Salater on January 12, 2011


Is your website copy focused primarily on your business and how you are so wonderful? If so, your prospects might be feeling left out. You might be thinking, “Why would prospects feel left out? I’m telling them how wonderful I am. They’ll get the point that I can give them what they need.”

False. Prospects don’t want to hear how wonderful you are, they want to hear how they can benefit from your services / products. What’s in it for your prospects? Once you tell them the benefits they receive and develop an emotional connection between the prospect and your product, you’ve got their foot in your funnel.

Here are 5 ways to tell if your website is too business-centric:

1. Your homepage web copy contains too many personal pronouns.

Example: Our firm is dedicated to writing creative web copy, which we have won awards for in the past. We are a creative team that delivers on time, every time. We are the best in our business!

Remedy: Put the focus on the client. A better way to phrase the above sentence would be: When your web copy is clear and reflects an accurate brand message, you will attract more clients and gain a larger online presence.

2. Your website is littered with your achievements.

Example: Our award-winning firm has won several international awards for our superior customer service including, X, Y, and Z. Click here to view more about all of our awards.

Remedy: Many times, your homepage is the first impression you have on viewers. They are visiting your website not to learn more about you, but rather, to learn more about how you can help them satisfy a need. If they feel you can satisfy their need / pain, then they will want to know more about your company. If they want to learn about your awards, achievements, and past clients, suggest they visit your About Us page.

3. Your prospects need an industry dictionary to translate your web copy.

Example: We specialize in a wide range of Aesclepion, Algotherapy, Fango Therapy, and Physiochineitherapy treatments.

Services include:

•      Exhilarated massage under affusion.

•      Japanese Adzuki Bean Treatment.

•      Maschero al Ferro “Iron Mask.“

•      CoffeeBerry Natureceuticals Anti-Aging Facial.

Does that even make sense?

Remedy: Many times, your target market isn’t familiar with the industry jargon and when your web copy is full of it, you will lose your target audience quickly. Remember, the key isn’t to impress them with fancy words; it’s to project an accurate brand message that they can clearly connect with and understand.

4. You’re constantly spotlighting your process, motto, credo, and philosophy.

Example: We believe the children are our future. We aim to teach them well and let them lead the way. We strive to show them all the beauty they possess inside . . . (feel free to sing along).

Remedy: Your target audience is more interested in how your company is going to fulfill their need with a valuable product / service. Your beliefs and philosophy should be woven into your brand message. You don’t need to shout your philosophy to the world on your homepage.

5. You’re talking at your audience and not to them.

Example: Our web design services are perfect for you because they are creative, unique, and unlike-anything out there.

Remedy: Speak on the same level with your target audience. When you engage with them through web copy that projects a clear brand message, one that targets their struggles and pains, your audience will feel more connected with your brand. When you talk at your audience, telling them that your company’s products / services are the solution to their problem, they won’t feel a strong connect. Instead, they’ll feel distanced and alienated from your company.

**A rule of thumb: Always focus on the benefits of a feature. Here’s an example of how a spa might come up with benefits to one of their features:

Spa Feature: Luxury massage service.

Benefit(s): Client’s muscle tension and stress are reduced, back pain is relieved and now they can do the things they love without pain, and their health is being restored. Client’s lifestyle is restored.

Want to receive instant updates from this blog right to your RSS feed? Subscribe here.

Leave Your Comments

If you like this post, you might also like:

  1. Make it Simple for Customers and Prospects to Read Your Web Copy
  2. 7 Ways to Generate More Creative Web Copy to Ignite Interest in Prospects
  3. How to Make Sure Your Marketing Copy Passes Legal Muster

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: